Top 10 amusing, puzzling and downright irritating things investors say --
-- and what entrepreneurs would really love to say in response

10. "We'd be interested in investing when you finish the technology, get your patents and sign up some customers."

So would my mother. Why do you call it venture capital. You should call it no risk, no thrills, expansion capital.

9. "After you fill-out your management team we might come in."

Funny. The slated management team said they would join just as soon as you guys put some money in.

8. "You couldn't possibly spend that much money between now and then."

You don't know my wife [ha ha]. The fact is, in the race to be first to market, I could spend it twice as fast as you could give it to me. For every dollar spent on building the company and getting to market, we increase the value of the company by three dollars.

7. "What are you going to do if Microsoft gets into this market?"

We'll open a donut shop, but no doubt they will enter that market as well. Heck, we'll just buy'em.

6. "The first thing we need to do is bring in a CEO."

I've risked my career, my savings and my marriage getting the company this far, but I suppose I can find something else to do.

5. "I'll need to call your customers and strategic partners."

I'm sure they would love to hear from you and 50 other investors, asking them why they want to do business with a struggling startup that has no money.

4. "You've overvalued the company by 50%."

Did I say we had a $5 million valuation? I meant we had a $15 million valuation.

3. "We've invested in a competitive venture and we don't sign NDAs, but send over the business plan and we'll take a look at it."

Why don't we save you and them some time? Give me the email address of the competitive company and I'll send the plan directly to them.

2. "We'll come in if [Blue Chip VC] comes in."

Blue Chip VC could care less if you come in and, if they do, we could care less too. Riding on the coat tails of the big dogs to minimize the risk and due diligence work is a great way to build a fund if you can get away with it.

1. "We only do early stage deals if we get preferred stock, warrants and two board seats."

Here are the keys to the office. I'm sure it will be great to work for you.